Impmon's First Christmas
by Impmon
Summary: Impmon tries to have fun and ends up learning the meaning of Christmas


Impmon's First Christmas

Chapter 1

Standard disclaimer: I don't own any copyright to anything that I may mention below so don't bug me.  Any C&D letters I may get will rest with my bills… in the fireplace.  Same goes with any flame mail.  This work shall not be published anywhere outside Fanfiction.net without my written consent.

Impmon hater should not read below if you lack the sense of humor. 

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It was an unusually cold day in December.  Snow has blanketed everything, and the whiteness of the snow was broken only by some people walking along the shopping district.  Among the crowd we spied a short purple Digimon in his usual foul mood as he swears off at some people...

"People!  Geez!  How they ever evolved and survived to this level is beyond anyone's comprehension."  I turned and walked in the opposite direction, fuming.  As I walked past the store fronts, I noticed several kids were all standing, their eyes glued to the windows.  "Sickening" I muttered.  _Why couldn't these kids be inside and out of the cold?  Or for that matter why don't these kids hang around the windows in the summer??  I managed to get a peek of what the kids were looking at and it was nothing more than a flashy looking train set that can transform into a robot.  "Don't see what these kids saw in that pile of plastics."_

I crossed the road toward the park, and to my ire a speeding taxi nearly turned me into a hood ornament.  Growling at the fleeting yellow car, I yelled "Bada-boom!" and sent a fireball after the car.

I finally reached the park and watched a number of kids playing in the snow.  I scooped up a handful of the snow.  "It's cold and very wet.  And they melt easily."  I never understood why the kids find them so much fun.  After all someone do have to shovel the walks, plow the roads, and tow out stuck cars.  "Their brain must be frozen."

As I continued my walk, one of the kid shouted at me "Hey you!  You missed the Halloween a few months ago!  Santa Claus won't give you anything for that ugly costume!"    I was getting really mad.  I turned around and waved my fist at the kid.  "Why I oughta...!"

"Nyaaahhh!"  One of the kids pulled down their eyelid to add insult.

"Bada-boom!"  A fireball went right through the snowman he and others were working on and left a large hold where its belly used to be.  I sent off another one "Bada-boom" and melted away the head.  The kids all got scared and ran away screaming.  I was finally getting what I needed.  I got up closer to the remains of the snowman and I gave a good hard swift kick to it and broke the larger portion into pieces.

I had noticed that I was hungry when my stomach reminded me.  I looked around for any easy food to grab but it seems everyone would rather play in the snow than to eat.  I strode over to a bench as I tried to think of a place where I could raid for food.  

_McBurger?  Nah, kids are always trying to grab me there._

_Matsuda Bakery?  Too much starch...  I shook my head.  Then I noticed a flock of pigeons gathering in front of me as if they were expecting handouts from me.  My lip cracked in a sneer.  "Maybe some Kentucky Fried Pigeons... Bada-boom!"  The ball of fire flew and somehow missed as all the pigeons flapped away._

I got off the bench and started following the flock to another location and as I was about to roast them, something bopped on my head.  Rubbing my head, I turned around to see an old man with a cane.  "I saw how you destroyed the snowman.  I want you to go over and apologize to the boys and help them rebuild it."

"Sez who?" I snapped back.  The elder hit my head with his cane again.  "Show respect to the elders!"  He was getting angry.

"Respect?"  I retorted "I'll give you the same what the boys gave me!  Bada-boom!"  And in no time at all, the geezer's cane was reduced to ash as he ran screaming away.  I folded my arms and scowled at him.  Every time I try to have some fun, someone comes along and spoil them.  _What else could go wrong I wondered as I once again tried to catch up with the pigeons._

"Bada-boom!  Bada-boom!" I chanted as I tried to bring down a pigeon.  But it seems they always managed to dodge the fireball.  I was getting really angry and growled a bit.  I opened both of my hands and 6 fireballs lit above each of my fingers.  "BADA-BOOM!" I shouted and sent all six to one fleeing pigeon.  This time I finally got it and sent the blackened pigeon spiraling downward... right into the mouth of a hungry dog.  Before I could get close, the dog had eaten most of it.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!"  I cried.

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As I wandered around the park in hunger, I passed by a little kid that was carrying a strange looking mini cane with red and white stripes.  It smelled a bit like a candy so I quietly followed behind the kid until I was able to get a clear shot of that mini cane and I grabbed it.  I ran out with a big smile on my face as I left behind a crying kid.  "Almost as easy as stealing candy from kids."  When I was sure I was far away enough, I examined the cane.  I sniffed it and it smelled rather sweet.  But when I licked it, it tasted very strange.  "Bleah!" I grunted as I threw the cane into the ground.  Humans are stranger than I thought.

No sooner after I threw away the candy cane when a snowball hit my head.   I turned around to see a short white Digimon giggling.  "Calumon!" I growled.  Calumon made another snowball and said "Come!  Play!"

"Sure... I'll play!"  I smiled.  "Bada-boom!"

"No fair!!"  Calumon cried as I chased after him, shooting fireballs at him.  I was finally having some fun at last.  I was bada-booming Calumon to the tune of "1812 Overture"

The chase took me to the other end of the park, where I spotted a pair of human in a long and passionate kiss.  I immediately stopped and yelled at the lovebirds "Will you get a room!"

The couple stopped kissing for a moment as the male turned to face me.  "Go away, shorty!"  They went back to their kissing bit.

I was ticked off at being called a shorty and being ignored.  "You will pay!"   But the couple continued to ignore me and they were about to get into another kiss.  "Bada-boom!"

A fireball whizzed right between the kissing couple's lip and set the man's mustache on fire.  He ran out screaming as the woman remained completely frozen in fear.  

I let out an evil cackle and walked away.  Calumon was nowhere to be seen but I noticed a very large building up ahead with lots of people coming and going.  And I smelled food... "FOOD!" I cried out.

I followed my nose across the street to the large building.  As soon as I had entered the building, I saw numerous tables around.  Across the top were lots of lights and some giant snowflakes.  And the music 'Silent Night' was blaring so loudly over the PA system that I couldn't hear myself think.

I stole my way across the food court to one unattended table that had food on it.  I took the tray and slipped it under the table with myself.  On it was a plate with several brownish rods with red sauce on it.  I sniffed the food and sure smelled really good.  "These are what the human called egg roll.  They don't look like eggs to me."  I shook my head in disbelief.  _Human are weird._

Since I was rather hungry, I went ahead and ate the whole thing.  They tasted very good and the red sauce... spicy and something...

Suddenly my eyes grew very big.  I had some nasty burning sensation on my tongue.  I screamed out as I looked around for any water source.  I found a large water fountain just beyond the food court and made a mad dash for it.  When I got to it, I dove headfirst into it and swallowed a lot of the water.

"Aaahhhh!" I sighed as I hung myself over the edge.  That's when I noticed several people had been staring at me.  "What?  You've never seen a purple Digimon swim before?" I growled at them.  Most of them wisely backed off and minded their own business.

I climbed out of the fountain and shook myself to shake away excess water.  What else could I do today to make myself miserable I wondered as not everything went well for me.  I started to stroll along the store fronts to see what interesting things human sold.

The first place I stopped at had several stuffed animals along the front.  I spotted one, a giant purple animal that was shaped a lot like Guilmon but with green front belly and green dots on its back.  "Ugh!" I groaned at the heinous color combination.  _How could the kid handle that grotesque stuff without going on a murderous rage?_

"Bada-boom!" A fireball from my finger lit up the stuffed dinosaur.  I then left, cackling loudly.  _Kids should be thanking me for doing them a service.  Just after I went out of sight, the store owner came out to investigate a smoking doll.  "Hey!  Who set fire to my Barney doll?"_

In the next store I visited, there were lots of strange clothes and lacy materials.  For some strange reason only women were shopping in this area.  I pulled down something from the rack above.  The tag read 'Bra' but I didn't know what it meant.  I tried putting it over my head and saw myself in the mirror.  I looked like Terriormon but with short ears. _Human are really strange I thought.  This stuff didn't make any sense to me._

I walked along the aisle until I found what appeared to be several small booths with doors.  I walked toward one of them and looked under the door.  What I saw next would remain etched into my memory forever as I saw an ugly woman with almost no clothes.  This one had lots of hair on her legs.  She then saw me peeking and shrieked so loudly my ear hurts.

Then someone slapped me away.  I turned around to see another woman wielding a rather menacing looking fat purse.  "Peeping tom!" she shouted at me as she took another swing of the purse.  Yet another woman joined the attack.  I have never ran so fast before in my life.

I didn't know how far I had run but I was sure it was more than enough to lose those crazed human women.  Or so I thought.  A large shadow came over me.  I looked up to see a very large man in brown clothes.

"Everyone saw you peeping at those women" he said.  "If I catch you peeping again, you'll be in very serious trouble.  Now, go back to your Mommy."  He walked away to continue his patrol.

I was tempted to Bada-boom his rear for thinking I am a kid.  But I didn't as I had too much chasing for the time being.  I looked around to see where I was this time.

Lining the shelves were assorted video games.  I spied a playable demo station so I walked over to it and started playing the game.  The game was titled Digimon World.  I tried to play it a bit but I couldn't find any Impmon in the game.  "What kind of stupid game doesn't star myself?" I spat at the machine. 

"Watch your mouth" someone shouted at me.  I saw it was a clerk, who was glaring at me.

"Make me" I snapped.

"Listen, brat!  I don't make the rule, I follow them.  You better keep your mouth clean or I'll have you taken away."

"You couldn't catch me if your life depended on, Fatso!"

"Hey, you!" he shouted at me but I had already run out.

I had reached what appeared to be the hub of the shopping mall.  Several more wings leaded from the center of the mall and the area was quite large.  Then I saw a long line of kids.  I went to join them to see if I could get something worthwhile.

But it wasn't what I had expected.  When I got to the front of the line, some woman in light green suit picked me up and placed me on the lap of some fat man with red suit and white beard.

"HO HO HO! And what do you want for Christmas this year, kid?"

There it goes again, someone calling me a kid.  I shouted "I am not a kid!"

The man was taken aback from my outburst.  "Kid, if you don't behave I won't send you anything this year."

"Stop calling me kid, bimbo!" I snapped back.  Several kids in the line gasped at my choice of word.

The old man turned his head "Jenny, see that this kid's name be stricken off of the good boys and girls list."

"AAAHHHHH!" I cried out.  He kept calling me kid.  "Bada-boom!"  A fireball at point blank range set his fake beard and hat on fire.  I was rolling on the floor, laughing rather hard.  That is until someone picked me up by my red scarf.

"You again?"  It was the same security person.  "This is your last warning!  You pull anything funny here and I'll make you sorry."  He put me down.

I only glared at him as he left.  I walked in the opposite direction from that person and down the other wing of the mall.  I didn't find anything interesting until I reached the end of the wing.  In the middle of the floor was a large hole with glass fence around it.  I got up closer and looked down.  It was a whole another floor with tables like the food court but only smaller.  And to one end of the lower floor was an ice skating rink.

I watched a number of people gliding around on the ice.  My mouth widened to a big grin as I had an evil thought.  I climbed up to the top of the glass barrier.  Six fireballs appeared above my hands.  "Bada-boom!"  The fireballs zipped down to the ice skating rink, melting the ice and creating a number of holes in the ice.  What follows delighted my ear as some screams and chaos ensued.

I watched a number of skaters tripped and floundered in cold water.  Then I fell backward and started rolling around on the floor, laughing rather hard.  I was laughing so hard that I never noticed anyone coming to me.  Or I would have gotten away.

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Who do you think is coming to Impmon?

To be continued...


End file.
